Info@drrobertlefever.co.uk
tel: 07540 281 820
In twenty five years of providing rehabilitation for patients suffering from compulsive and destructive behavioural problems, Dr Robert Lefever has worked closely with families who are torn apart. He helps them to see their own difficulties and to work towards re-building their lives. His goals are that there should be peace of mind in spite of un-solved problems, happy and mutually fulfilling relationships, spontaneity, creativity and enthusiasm. Please contact him on info@drrobertlefever.co.uk or on 07540 281 820 to discuss help for yourself or for someone close to you.
Marital Therapy
The three most important skills in life - how to make long term relationships, how to bring up children successfully and how to make a profit in business - are rarely, if ever, taught in schools and we may have poor examples in our own up-bringing. We learn, as best we can, by experience - usually by making painful mistakes. The baggage from one failed relationship or enterprise get carried over into the rest. We hope that each new venture will succeed but we may be disappointed yet again. We ask ourselves where it all went wrong. We wonder if there is ever any hope or trust or even honour. We ask ourselves if happiness is merely an illusion.
Psychological approaches to distress are often badly mistaken. We may be asked to examine all the things that we and others have done wrong - as if the absence of a negative makes a positive. A better approach is to look at what we have done right in any aspect of our lives and see if these skills can be transplanted into areas of our lives where we have been less successful. We need to learn not so much from other people as from ourselves (with guidance).
Marital therapy should focus first of all on the positive features that each partner brings into the relationship. Then it should examine what each partner wants and how he or she has tried - or hoped to try - to get it. Only then will it become clear that some investments have been unequal and some hopes idealistic. An essential pause for concern is that they may have been trying, forlornly, to change the other person rather than modifying ourselves. We may be so caught up in the actions of someone else that we fail to notice the effect of our own actions and reactions.
The purpose of marital therapy is to heal. Specific professional techniques such as Pyschodrama, EMDR, NLP and hypnotherapy enable us to see ourselves as others see us, resolve the trauma of the past, re-frame our perceptions and learn how to have peace of mind in spite of unsolved problems, happy and mutually fulfilling relationships and to be gently and comfortably spontaneous, creative and enthusiastic in future.
Contacting Doctor Lefever
Info@drrobertlefever.co.uk
07540 281 820